Just look at that speed...look at those moves...all that self indulgence...all that focus and concentration...well the dao1 shu4 guy lost focus during his routine..but then he did well for the rest of that routine...that kind of recovery is admirable...
and imagine all that hard work each one of them put in...it takes at least 10 years to reach that kind of standard...if u take any less then u muz be really talented to do so...
this is the only sport where i can totally forget about everybody else...shut every single sound out...and let every single violent thought and every bit of aggression lash out in whatever i am doing at tt moment....and feel the rush as i go through my routine....
its the only time when i feel truly free.....and i can fully express myself with all that i am....
this isnt just a sport to me....its a passion...a part of my life...an integral part of me....
and at the end of the routine....my mind will be blank....i will see nothing but white....i will be breathless...whatever frustration/hate/anger/sadness i feel will be gone...and i close my eyes, allowing myself to sit down/lie down flat................................................. smiling...
back in hwa chong, it used to be that i can take a sword out of the wushu club room whenever i wanted and whenever i felt lyk it....to vent whatever i had in mind....gets me some exercise and relieves me of my burden...great...but now i can never do tt anymore....throughout the 2 years in army and up till now....i crave holding the sword in my hand and slashing arnd in the air in that crazy speed......
the wushu club here has swords...but i can only use them once in a while...coz i dun go for every trng session due to studies...
and i do get a little depressed if i dun get to hold a sword when i feel the need to....
i dun care if u tease me abt this...coz i admit it....i am addicted to it.....and that depression i feel is the withdrawal symptom..
I must say tt we did put in alot of effort for her bday....preparations started a month ago...One fine day on MSN, we saw tt our dear little bday girl was upset...then we went on to ask her why...she apparently was upset because she ironed her adidas jacket and the iron was too hot...so the adidas jacket melted...Oh Noooo!!!!Yea..then immediately an idea popped up in my head....why not lets get her the exact same jacket...bet she'll be so touched when she sees a "revival" of that jacket that meant so much to her...and so that Sunday, Ethan, XY and me went to the Smith St (this place rox man!! it has the direct factory outlets for Nike, Adidas, Fila, Converse....Cheap and gd stuff...haha..) to look for it...and guess what...we cldnt find it there!!! ya lo..then on the tram back to clayton we were feeling quite sad abt making a wasted trip to that place....but then the tram passed by an adidas shop on Bourke St...YES!! So we jumped off tt tram and went into that shop..and we found it!! The exact same jacket and so we bought it right there...haha..
On the way back to halls from the city, we discussed plans on how to present it to her and blah blah blah....actually on that day another interesting thing happened...but tt's irrelevant...and besides, it'll generate gossip too...so better not say..haha.. =P
After that, there were plans from kerf to bake cheesecake...etc..but the discussion of her bday plans died down eventually due to exams and stuff...till one week before her bday...So on Wed, we finalised the plan for her bday...On Thurs at midnight, we'll give her the present, the cake...then on Fri evening, we'll cook dinner for her...haha..and on that day we went grocery shopping....After some debate at the Hong Kong store...we decided to make Hainanese Chicken Rice for her =)
and it so happened on Friday (her bday), she told Ethan..."ehhhh..Saturday let's cook Hainanese Chicken Rice leh!!"
RIGHT ON!!!!YEAH!!!!
After tt was damn eventful....kerf decided to make the cheesecake 1st and keep it in the fridge...and i was there to help...and the first signs of failure started to present itself...kerf was beating the philadelphia cheese with his very very old mixer...and the cheese was so hard and cold that the mixer cant turn at the speed it was supposed to turn at....and as we went on some more, a burnt plastic smell could be detected from the mixer....and a short while after that....the mixer juz stopped....
no mixer = no cheesecake for jasmine...
luckily we started early...and the sugar dough base had to be refridgerated for one night...so kerf went to buy the mixer from brandon park the next day and finished baking the cake...in time for what we had in plan for Thursday..haha..
After that on Friday, after PCL class...we rested for a while...then at 2pm..we started cooking the chicken rice....kerf's recipe was entirely in chinese and tt posed problems for us coz we cldnt identify wad ingredients were required...lyk wad's 香茅?haha..then we gave up and i went to print out my recipe.... http://www.dawncities.com/virtualbistro/recipes/recipe1.htm
LOOKS damn zai3 rite? (see how i emphasize the "looks")sigh..will tell u later what happened...for now juz read on........everything was going smoothly...boil chicken in boiling water...take out....put in ice water....spread layer of sesame oil on top.....
by 3.30pm all the chicken were boiled..the chrysanthemum tea was boiling too...the chicken stock tasted really gd...and at tt moment...i thought...this is taking far less time than i expected...and i was quite happy with the progress actually... =)
then at 4pm i went on to make the rice...fry the rice with the oil from the chicken stock and some chicken oil....and then put the rice into the rice cooker with the stock to cook...ethan continued to make the soup....sound's damn smooth going rite? haha..here's where the chaos started... =O
we started chopping up the chicken...and we found that 3 out of the 4 chickens were half cooked!!!! oh nooooooooooo!!!!!! damn tt stupid recipe...said boil the chicken for 15 min only!!!! =/ to think i trusted you!!!immediate remedy...we put the chicken into the soup to boil and cook them... =) yay...chicken saved...
then after that we went to check on the rice....the rice was so hard.........oh Nnoooooooo!!!! damn....then we got kelvin to bring his rice cooker too and we split rice into 2 batches and started cooking them...then i got some soup from the kitchen to add to the rice....then i smelt something burnt....and i got a little apprehensive....please do not let it be the soup tt's burnt....
after some sniffing arnd, it unfortunately confirmed my worst fears......coz we had to put the chicken into the soup to boil...we didnt stir it..so the soup got burnt... =/ and coz we add burnt soup to the rice...the rice would have abit of the burnt smell too.... =(
soup went wrong, rice went wrong, chicken went wrong....sigh...
then the chrysanthemum tea...we added some rock sugar and it melted liao....and we went to test....ITS TOO SWEET!!!!!!!!Ohh nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
i went to cook more chrysanthemum tea and use tt to dilute the sweet chrysanthemum...luckily it was saved..sigh...but its still too sweet to feel any therapeutic effect.... =/
after a while..the rice was done...and after some testing..we found that the rice was satisfactory...yupz....
the soup....no hope liao la....sigh...by tt time its already 6.15pm lo.. the intended time for her surprise was 6pm...ya lo..then a sms to xy saying tt i'm already waiting at the linkway while the rest of them lay the table...finish writing the card....and surprise!!! Happy Bday Jasmine!!!
cooking for 15 ppl was damn tiring...but it was quite an experience...so many things went wrong...
but in the end...when i saw tears from her eyes....i was satisfied.... =)
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! haha!!
may this be ur best birthday ever!! x
hikari is wasting his time at 11:41 PM x
--------------
Saturday, April 22, 2006
How do you tell?
How do you tell when you truly feel passionate about some matter or just putting up a false front for others to see? Or are you manipulated into thinking that you truly feel passionate about some matter? There are some who are just so good at talking isn't it?
How do you tell when are you doing something out of sincerity or are you doing it to manipulate others into thinking what you want them to think of? How sure can you be when you say that a person has no ulterior motive about doing something? Do people even mean what they are saying?There are definitely some things that they do not tell you, don't they? Are you just trying to be nice to everyone? Everybody wants to be nice, don't they? Do you make friends just so that you won't be lonely?And yet, why are there times when you just want to be alone?
Do you mean what you are saying? Its hard to keep to what you say isn't it? What happens when you contradict yourself? Where do you draw the line to say what is a reasonable explanation and what is just an excuse?
What are you thinking as you are reading this? Is it "Why is he having such thoughts?"? Is it "Is there something wrong with him?"? Is it "Did something happen?"? Is it "What kind of nonsense is this?"? Is it "What is he trying to say?Is there some hidden message?"?
What kind of thoughts can be going through my mind as I write this? What might have triggered this entry from me?
After you think you know what it is, would you ask whether its right? Or would you think about how that person might feel if you try and check whether its right? Or would you just keep it to yourself and continue to observe what that person is doing to see whether you are right? Do you even want to know? Do you have this slight fear that it might just be about you and what you want to know might just hurt you? What will you think if you found out that it isn't about you?
And I'm not drunk...My last drink was at least 4 hours ago...Any effect from alcohol would have been gone by now...And I am not tired...I slept before I went clubbing...I am still wide awake...Just in case some of you think I'm just writing nonsense...
Blessed Easter everyone!! I know I shld've posted this earlier..but I had no time...studying for exams... Sigh...How much fun can you have when u spent nearly your whole Easter Holiday studying?
Ah ha... But here's the catch...noticed how i said "nearly" ? =) Tt'll be for another blog entry..
Actually you can have quite alot of fun studying.....If you do it in groups!! =)
For the past week, Jasmine, Ethan, Jeffrey and I (sometimes got Ker Fern and Xin Yi...) were studying together at my hall's common room..Most of the locals went home for Easter, so we had the WHOLE common room to ourselves...How shiok is tt man!! haha...
Ya...and we went through our notes, hour by hour, talking cock at times when we're bored....discussing and clarifying things amongst ourselves....Oh man....its juz like those pre-block test, pre-prelim, pre- A lvl days in Hwa Chong...Damn happy =)
Its so much better than cooping urself up in your room to mug....But I guess different ppl got different styles la hor...I tried that on Sat and Sunday, going through Sociology(which I dun like!!!!)..and by Sunday I cannot take it already...and that explains the nonsense entry...
Sigh...Exams on Friday...Wish me luck... =)
But then actually I got nothing much to fear...you wanna see how much I need to know for Glycolysis?? How little is that compared to this????
I bet even those who never took biology like Lixiang and Yanlian can handle this very well lor...Hwa Chong bio teachers taught us so much...we are laughing at how little the locals here need to know...LUV YA MRS FOO, MS WONG, MDM TAN and ALL THE OTHER BIO TEACHERS TT TAUGHT S7 STUDENTS FROM 2002-2003!!! =)
The biology stuff are really easy...its just the sociology stuff that's so frustrating...Weberian Theory, Feminism, Symbolic Interactionism, Post-structuralisation, Marxism, Functionalism etc etc etc...Felt stigma, Enacted stigma...Makes you wonder...how on earth does that relate to medicine???
Talcott Parsons' Sick role concept, How is illness sociologically constructed...what sociological factors might cause disease...what is the difference between illness and disease??
and i can rattle on and on and on with more questions that a sociologist might ask....
At this point of time, I dun see any point in knowing this...but who knows? maybe i'll be enlightened one day about how this might come into play...and i might know how to apply the SOCIOLOGICAL IMAGINATION in my clinical practice...
cheem rite...SOCIOLOGICAL IMAGINATION...haha..here's the definition:
"The sociological imagination is a quality of a mind that promises an understanding of the intimate realities of ourselves in connection with larger social realities." - C.W. Mills 1959 p.15
Try picturing a doctor who does tt....haha..
Oh yah...and one more thing...ZHAOQI!!!! I need your help in Law!!! Gonna be asking quite a few stupid questions here...Please forgive me k...I know nuts about them...What are tribunals?What is the hierachy of the courts and the judges in Law?(i know there's a high court, supreme court...but what's the magistrate court?the county court?etc etc..and I know what's chief justice, defendant, accused..but what's plaintiff?are there any other common names used in court?)What is the difference between battery and assault?
Can email me your answers to these questions?Thx!! =)
I have a theory...I think that people in this world all strive towards whatever is good...
There are the obvious ones where people strive to achieve better results, salaries etc that will benefit them in ways that I do not have to spell out.
However, I believe also that people who do crime are also striving towards something good. We must consider their actions from a SOCIOLOGICAL point of view.
Look at those doing crime, the Culture and History has always been that crime-doers are bad...really bad..we put them to jail, kill them lawfully and even fine them in some cases. Generally the Emotions involved are negative and we tend to stigmatise them. As a result, social Structures are set up to prevent them from doing what they want to do, therefore we have CISCO, Chubb and many other security providers. In all Spiritualities and beliefs, there is nothing that suggests that we should do crime, for example, one of the ten commandments of the Bible is Thou shalt not steal...
However, we should Critique this and see how it can be different...How can the crime-doers be seen as doing something good?
When they commit the crime, the police will solve the case and capture them. This gives the police an experience of being in an actual crime and going through the various thought processes and emotions. They will become better policemen after this. =) The security providers will have to rethink their security measures and repair whatever loophole that the crime-doers used to cause a breach in security. The general public will have raised awareness of what precautions they need to take to prevent such crimes to happen to them. So, the crime-doers are actually doing more good than bad, and maybe we should encourage such behaviour by awarding them bravery medals for having the courage to actually do the crime!! =)
And all that crap above just proved my point that with sociology...you can turn all kinds of nonsense into sensible sounding crap...Just use your Sociological Imagination....CHESS C!!!!Culture, History, Emotion, Structure, Spirituality and Critique!!! Yay!!
After one 2h session of hard and intensive wushu trng......i smiled...I'm back to normal now..dun worry..but i sure am tired... x
hikari is wasting his time at 8:55 PM x
--------------
Her Story
I know I've talked about this to you Ethan..and I do understand where you are coming from..but just let me be emotional and unreasonable for once here..Let me vent whatever I have in my heart on this blog..
This pleasant 83 year old lady came into the lecture theatre, saying how lucky she was to be able to meet up and talk to young people like us...She calls us the people of the future..She knows that all of us are going to be doctors in the future..and she tells us that we have to be considerate, kind, and we must help people..and she started tearing..She tells us that our hearts have to be kind and good..And after some coaxing from our tutor, she began to tell us the story of how she and her husband were treated at the hospital..
Her husband had a really bad cough years ago...and one day he coughed so hard that the capillaries in the retina burst and he bled into the back of his eye...He was sent to hospital and after the doctor had a look at him...He said that he would become blind if his bleeding continued...Her husband had a heart condition..and he was prescribed warfarin to prevent clotting...so it was harder for the bleeding in the eye to stop..and to save the eye, they had to take him off warfarin..It was a huge risk for the doctor for saving his eye could possibly cost him his life..What would you choose in this situation?Save his eye?Or protect his heart?His sight means everything to him...After living for 70+ years of seeing evrything that he loved, what would it be if you chose to protect his heart instead of his life?In fact, it would be torturous for him..Yes you did him a favour by preserving his life...But you have just damned him into a lifetime of eternal darkness until the day he dies...Are you able to live with that?After much persistence from her, the doctor finally decided to take him off warfarin to save his sight..
Later on in the life of her husband, he suffered a heart attack while driving...The moment he felt sick, he pulled over by the side, walked out of the car, lay down by the pavement, and managed to tell one lady to call the ambulance just before he passed out..Interesting huh?The human's basic instinct to want to survive..While he was being rescued by the medical team, she was sitting there in the corridor..She told the nurses that if there was any information they needed, what he likes to eat, how he would like to be treated etc..she would be in the corridor..But everyone just ignored her...The medical team continued to do what they thought was right..and she sat there...being thought of as a nuinsance...That she was in the way of what the medical team was doing...Is this the kind of respect we give to the elderly?They may not know anything about medicine....but they do know one thing best...that the patient is her husband..and is a human being...not just a heart that just been through a myocardiac infarction...
He was being sent to the ICU after the operation and she wanted to sit there next to him...She wanted to be with him..but the nursing staff were distraught..."She cannot be there!!She'll interfere with our work!!What good is it gonna do with her sitting there?"
For heaven's SAKE...CANT YOU JUST LET THE ELDERLY COUPLE WHO HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 56 YRS BE TOGETHER?Damn those nurses who uttered those harsh words...What if you were in her shoes?What would you feel?I dare to put my life on the line to say that none of you would take it easy and say "Oh..the nursing staff are excellent here...they'll take gd care of him..." because you are damn F***ing heartless if you say that...
In the beginning, I've always thought of the world as a warm and nice place to live in..but hearing such stories just makes rips my heart into many many pieces...What has this world come to?But still, I'd cling to that thought like a 4 yr old child clings onto his sleeping blanket...Its only helps to make this world easier to live in..that there is still hope in this cold cold environment..
How about put yourself in the shoes of her husband?You find out sth's wrong with you, then you try to find help to survive..Then after a period of unconsciousness you wake up, disorientated, in a foreign environment with tubes all over your body and not a single familiar face around...how would you feel?Lonely?Vulnerable?Lost?Whatever...The ICU staff didnt care at all...
She was allowed to stay only after a doctor ordered the nurses to..the nurses there didnt manage to get her out of there..so they did sth different..they were mean to her...
Life went on in the ICU and all dignity was stripped from her husband..he wasnt allowed to do anything...however,one fine day, he asked whether he could shave himself..at that point, he was blind (for some reason she didnt mention..)...in no way would anyone allow him to do tt..but one kind-hearted nurse allowed it...she brought a mirror and a shaver...and he took it...and started shaving..except tt he wasnt looking at the mirror...well..the nurses' face turned into varying shades of white as he proceeded to the neck area etc...but in the end, he managed to shave himself w/o cutting himself..proving that he wasnt useless at all..CHEW ON THAT YOU PEOPLE!!!
One day in the ICU, his pulmonary artery ruptured..and he bled into his chest cavity...Blood pressure dropping..Heart rate is irregular...He's breathless and in suffering...and in those last moments..he said, "Goodbye my dear..." She cried...
In the operating theatre, his blood spurted evrywhere...he needed litres of blood poured into him through his veins...and the surgeons managed to save him..but he had to be put on life support...
After the medical team analysed the situation, they reckoned that he would be a vegetable for life...and then they told her that they are going to switch off the life support...56 years of being husband and wife..and she was going to lose him just like that...
She begged for them not to turn off life support...She said, "When we took our marriage oath, we swore to be together in good and in bad times...I dont want you to flick that switch..." She cried again..and she made me tear too...That was how much he mattered to her..It struck a chord deep in my heart...It made me tell myself I should not be as heartless as them, life should not be taken lightly...
So he was left on life support...and one night, the nurse went off for a break in the cafeteria and another nurse stood in for her..then the nurse went around to do what was routine..and when she came to her husband, she took a syringe filled with Novocain and wanted to inject it into his tubes..She stopped the nurse from giving it to him...telling her that it will kill him..The nurse insisted that she knows what she's doing and she will not be killing him...The old lady then reminded her to check his papers and across the top of the page it was clearly written that he is allergic to Novocain, and pleaded to her not to give him the injection..The nurse was adamant and then again said that she knows what she is doing....Then the nurse told her that she didnt know anything about medicine...WHAT A MEAN REMARK TO MAKE TO HIS WIFE!!!I hate her I-know-it-all attitude...Luckily for her, a doctor and a nurse came in on time to see the commotion and her husband was spared from a possible anaphylactic shock that could end his life...And words reverberated in my head..it was what i heard while watching House MD..."In medicine we do not just screw up a patient...We make a mistake, people die...If you cant handle that thought then go choose another profession..."
However, that wasnt all...she went to complain to her colleagues..and then the next day..all the nurses were against her....WHAT AUDACITY!!! And when that wasnt enough to chase her away from the ICU, the nurse went on to complain to the doctor...I cant believe that we have such people in this noble profession...
Luckily for her, many specialists attended to her case..and the best around Melbourne were called to come and help...and eventually, his life was saved...He's still here today...talking to another group, in another lecture theatre..And very happy with his wife's decision...
This story made me realise that there are far more important things in life than what we are concerned about now...BGR, groceries, exams, studies...I'm sorry my dear...i'll have to admit that I might have more feelings for the patient than i have feelings for you...i wont blame you if you choose to leave me if you feel that i do not have space in my life for you...please understand that this is what i chose medicine for..i cant always be there for you...when my duty calls..i'll go to wherever i'm needed..and that is the same reason why i told you that you have to be stronger in will...
This story struck me hard...so hard i cldnt concentrate during that last lecture...Its not just about how cold this world is..The thing that strikes me the hardest is that THOSE DAMNED THOUGHTS THAT THE NURSES HAD....I HAD THEM TOO WHEN I WAS A MEDIC....I had that same uncaring attitude when I was overwhelmed by the multitudes of people who came to seek medical attention...I feel so damn guilty now.. =(
Finally I've got sometime to blog...haha..You never know why..but time just blitzes past you..And for this entry i'll be posting alot of photos tt i was supposed to post long long ago but had no time for it..
More cooking attempts..I must say we're getting better.. =)
Ethan and I did the Satay Chicken. Its there right at the top =)
Guess who is this?Hint: The mole at the bottom right..
Early morning breakfast and guess who decided to be creative...
And of course, we took time off to go watch the commonwealth games opening.. =) The fire works were beautiful..
And I went travelling arnd abit in Melbourne too...Went to Brighton Beach...Every photo shot i took was a postcard photo lo...and the coloured houses there are so cute =)
Australia is a beautiful country..so many places to see..so many things to experience...And I guess only pictures can truly express what I feel inside about this country...Putting it into words would never be able to capture evrything that I want to say..
And Australians have a great sense of humour..Just look at this public toilet.. =) I'm happy here.. =) never ever had a better time in my life..and I shall elaborate on that on my next post..Till then, enjoy the photos.. =)
//Ninja info åå : Lim Ming Jian
ä½æ : Singapore
è¶£å³ : Prac wushu, piano, play games, read books,ãwatch movies, medical dramas, æ¥æ¬èª
ãèªçæ¥ : 28 Feb 1985
ãªã¬ãï¼ãªã¬ãï¼ååã¯ãããã¾ããã«ãï¼
好ããªãã®ã¯ã«ããã©ã¼ã¡ã³ï¼ï¼ãã£ã¨å¥½ããªã®ã¯ã¤ã«ã«å
çã«ããã£ã¦ããã£ãä¸æ¥½ã®ã©ã¼ã¡ã³ï¼ï¼å«ããªã®ã¯ã«ããã©ã¼ã¡ã³ãããã¹ãã¾ã§ã®ä¸åéã»ã»ã»å°æ¥ã®å¤¢ã¯ã¡ç«å½±ãè¶
ãï¼ï¼ã³ã§ãã£ã¦éã®å¥´ãå
¨å¡ã«ãªã¬ã®åå¨ãèªãããã¦ãããã ï¼ï¼è¶£å³ã¯ã»ã»ã»ã¤ã¿ãºã©ããªã»ã»ã»
Ethan and I did the Satay Chicken. Its there right at the top =)
Guess who is this?Hint: The mole at the bottom right..
Early morning breakfast and guess who decided to be creative...
And I went travelling arnd abit in Melbourne too...Went to Brighton Beach...Every photo shot i took was a postcard photo lo...and the coloured houses there are so cute =)
Australia is a beautiful country..so many places to see..so many things to experience...And I guess only pictures can truly express what I feel inside about this country...Putting it into words would never be able to capture evrything that I want to say..
